Too Much!

About a month ago I decided that, in the interest of having sufficient space in my little inner-city apartment for two adults and a dog the size of a sled, I should probably hold off on buying any more books for a while.

You still have plenty of stuff you haven’t read. You don’t even have that much time to read right now. The books will still be there in a few months, just put them on a wish list.

Sigh. If there’s anything I should know by now, it’s that books are a type of nourishment in my life.

I need them in the same way I need sunlight. I can do without for a while, and can even supplement my way into feeling OK if it starts going on too long… but then all of a sudden I am going to lose all restraint and throw the full force of my will at getting what I need.

So… that happened yesterday. I bought TEN books 😂

Restriction has always been a problem for me. Whether it’s food, books, alone time — anything I need to feel healthy and fulfilled — restriction will always eventually catapult me face-first into too much of whatever’s been lacking.

It’s the same with writing.

If I don’t do it enough — if I get it into my head that I don’t need to do it so often, or that there’s nothing much to say for a few days (in other words, if I restrict myself from doing something I know is good for me) — I get over-full with stuff.

Thoughts, feelings, problems, tasks, questions, daydreams, goals — eventually I can feel it all filling up my head like a big, thick cloud.

Then instead of needing 10 or 15 minutes to write, like I would on a normal, balanced day, I end up needing 90. Half of my creative time for the day gets used up, my hand starts to cramp and my middle finger gets a huge dent in it from holding the pen so intently for so long.

The secret (which I discover constantly, as if for the first time) is that a little bit, at regular intervals, is better than a lot all at once. One book, one treat, one afternoon alone, one page — it’s all better than nothing, nothing, nothing, TOO MUCH.

So while the lesson is still fresh in my mind, , I’m off to do some writing, and, obviously, I will have some exciting new book recommendations for you soon.